Exposing the LASIK Scam

Today is my seven year LASIK anniversary. I wonder how my surgeon is doing today. Probably just another day slicing and burning corneas for him.

I'll never forget him telling me that it could take up to a year for the halos and starbursts to resolve. Seven years later, no improvement. How can it improve? It can't. Has my brain adapted? Well, I guess you could say I've gotten used to having vision that is total garbage. Is that what they mean by brain plasticity?

I remember watching something on TV, probably a year or more ago. This guy in a wheelchair was being interviewed. He was a very attractive man, probably in his 30's. He had had some kind of terrible accident that left him paralyzed. The interviewer asked him how he ever got over it. The paralyzed guy gave the interviewer the strangest look and said, "You never get over it, you just get used it". I'll never forget that as long as I live.

Today something amazing happened. I was wondering how my day would go, being my seven year anniversary and all... And guess what, God gave me another moment I'll never forget... an encounter with a young man who recently experienced a terrible accident that left him with a disability.

His accident happened on February 10, 2007. He has been through several surgeries and is healing nicely, but will never function normally again. He will be limited in what he can do. He will never be able to return to his former career, which he really enjoyed. This young man was feeling very depressed and impatient to return to work and activities that he used to enjoy. I had the opportunity to have a heart to heart talk with him, on my seven year LASIK anniversary. He didn't know I have a disability until today. He seemed very surprised -- I didn't tell him what my disability is... I just said "You cannot see my disability". He didn't ask for details... he just listened very intently.

Very long story short... I had the opportunity to use my experience to encourage someone else who is going through the process of learning to let go and start over after an injury that changes your life forever, that leaves you disabled. The young man received what I had to say... I could tell he needed to hear it. He needed to hear it from someone with first-hand experience.. someone who can totally relate to what he's feeling. There were probably many things he didn't want to hear, but he needs to hear. I encouraged him to use the state resources, such as Vocational Rehabilitation, to learn a new career that he can do with his disability. I told him that he has to start thinking about life differently now, accept what he *can* do, and not dwell on what he cannot do. It was a long, heart to heart talk. At the end, we had a good hug.

The amazing thing was, as I was walking away, I had this overwhelming feeling of God's presence all around me. Like I had been put there in that place, at that time, for that purpose. And everything that happened to me since June 6, 2000, every piece of it, seemed to make sense. And of all days, on my seven year LASIK anniversary. You know, God always uses seven. Wow. I was just blown away by the entire experience.

Seven years... I guess I am now officially a LASIK survivor.

Most people will probably fail to appreciate how much more difficult it was to be an early LASIK victim. It was much harder seven years ago to obtain straight answers to questions and to find any kind of support. Much of the available information that's out there today is there because of the commitment Broken Eyes has made to educate herself about corneal refractive surgery complications and to inform the public about the understated risks of corneal refractive surgery.

Broken Eyes has pursued this cause with unwavering integrity.

What more can I say? I'm so proud to know you!

P.S. Things may not be going so well for your surgeon. By now he's racked up many casualties and has to live with that forever.

I happen to know that my surgeon, LASIK surgeon Dr. Terry Kim of Duke University Medical Center, has been slicing and burning a little too close to home, and in my opinion, this has damaged his reputation and Duke's. He has created LASIK casualties he can't hide. Perhaps your surgeon has been similarly exposed in some circles B.E.?

Thank you, Scientist. In the early days my motivation was to find a cure for myself. I was sure I'd find one, then I'd go on with my life. The more I learned, the more I realized that there was no cure. Then my motivation became to warn other patients before it was too late.

The more I learned, the more I realized how harmful LASIK is. I began reading the FDA transcripts and quickly realized that the clinical trials were basically shams. It just kept getting uglier and uglier, everything I read, it got worse. I would have never imagined that doctors would be involved in harming patients for money, and selling a procedure by hiding the truth. I was overwhelmed and in disbelief! I knew I could not walk away. Somebody had to get the truth out there where it could be found by patients. I knew I had to be an advocate for patients.

There were times when I felt defeated and ready to give up. It just seemed like we could not slow down "the LASIK gravy train" (as they call it). I didn't have a lot of support. But I kept thinking to myself, "Somewhere out there is another woman with 8mm + pupils who is considering LASIK, and I have to get the word to her that LASIK will destroy her vision." When you came on the scene, Scientist, I realized YOU were that woman, and I felt terrible that I did not save you from this.

But you were strong, in many ways stronger than me. And what I love about you is you refuse to let them scare you and intimidate you into silence. We have both been horribly harassed by the LASIK industry's hitman. You have not wavered once. You have not let them scare you. You just seem more determined than ever. You kept me going when I was ready to quit.

I have devoted myself to this cause. There is too much at stake to walk away. I have to follow my heart.

I'm sorry your eyes got messed up, Scientist. But I'm so glad you came along.

I am sorry to hear about your stories. I hope that it will work out in the end. I don't think it is possible to stop this lasik gravy train but at least we could provide advice and help to those who had bad outcomes.

Although my story is well-known, it did not stop at least 8 more colleagues at my workplace from having lasik. More alarmingly, many based their choice of surgeon on cost alone. Six of them took up an offer by a surgeon who would operate on three persons for the price of two.


-Derek

Broken Eyes:
I wanted to thank you for sharing your 7 year anniversary story and how you touched someone's life in a tremendous way. Most especially that you shared how you felt God's presence during that time.. I just had my one year anniversary since lasik and I still have a hard time with my faith. I had faith this WOULDN'T happen to me.. That I would have my "so called" miracle that I thought one could have (of course now I know that's not much true- I hear so much of those now that came thru fine and a few years later they are now having major problems that are uncorrectable like me) from having lasik.
I was blessed in so many ways, and thought God's blessings would just continue and continue. I couldn't believe God would let me go thru this and live like this.. All messed up..
I hope one day I am able to experience something like you; at this point, all I do know is I have saved lives; happy lives at least.... Many, many lives of people who were contemplating this surgery and after hearing "what could" happen after I told my story and the others I knew, they decided the risk was too large and thanked me profusely.. We do know not everyone has complications, at least not on the onset of surgery, but I keep hearing those who had it , now having troubles,, including those in my family who now have problems seeing well, or even bigger problems like continual retinal detachment and live with huge chunk floaters that won't go away. I truly believe that if they didn't have lasik, they would have been fine now.
I only hope that one day I rec'v the gift you have, to have a sense of purpose and feeling it was meant to be, somehow... for others, maybe.

I have now just in the past week and half noticed significant ghosting I did not have before.. Seems I always get something worse going on since beginning of surgery.. Do you know much about that ghosting around words, flowers, etc... I already had a line around people and things, from haze, I think?? but not this.. Not with the area of ghosting so large and noticable,,, like glowy all the time..
Let me know, please, Broken Eyes

Again, thanks for sharing your story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sadeyes

Thanks for everything you've done, BE. It must have been terribly hard having to deal with all of this 7 years ago, before anything like Thelasikflap.com was out there. I'm glad that you seem to have at least found some positive things that have come out of your botched LASIK.

I was trying to think if I could try and look on the bright side of things. I?m having a hard time with that task, but when I try to make the best of everything, at least I've learned some stuff.

I've learned to never trust Doctors. Just because they're a Dr., doesn't mean they're smart...and it certainly doesn't mean that they're honest, out for their patients' best interest, or that they honor the Hippocratic oath.

I've also learned not to trust the FDA or our government. When considering to have LASIK, I thought, "If it was dangerous, there is no way the FDA and the government would let this still go on, especially let this still go on and be so highly advertised. I live in the United States of America, not a 3rd world country!? Little did I know! IGNORANT!

I've also learned to always make all of my decision myself. I?m the type of person that hates making decisions, even little ones, like where to eat or what movie to see. I really hate making BIG, life decisions. So, when I made the decision to have LASIK, it was based largely on the opinions and advice of other people I know. My friends are smart people, but they aren?t eye doctors! I was asking: teachers, business annalists, speech therapists, bankers, psychologists, etc., if I should get an elective eye surgery! They think of LASIK like a visit to the spa. My best friend, a Georgetown graduate, consoled me about my vision by telling me she really knew how I felt. She knew how I felt because she was disappointed when her hair grew back after a laser hair removal treatment that she paid a comparable amount of money for! We can thank the media for this 15-minute miracle view that people have of LASIK. I would say to my friends, ?I don?t know! This is scary! They?re going to SLICE OPEN MY EYE AND SHOOT A LASER BEEM INTO IT! Maybe I shouldn?t do it!? And they would assure me that I?ll be fine, I?ll be great, LASIK is great, and I shouldn?t get myself all worked up because millions of people have it done and consider it the best thing they ever did. These are all my friends who care about me and only want the best for me, but they are not eye doctors! They don?t read the journals and literature, and they don?t know the truth! They believe the hype on the radio, and all of the hearsay about LASIK being so fantastic, just as I did. So, I really let myself be influenced by what I heard from other people, rather than listening to my gut. I?m going to be Captain Decision Maker from now on! I?d rather make a decision that I?m going to regret for the rest of my life strictly by myself, rather than make a decision that I?m going to regret for the rest of my life based largely on what other people suggested.

So, I suppose I?ll just take this whole experience as a life lesson, and be thankful that I?ve grown a bit through all of this. And of course, hopefully a few people will save their eyes after hearing me complain about my experience. I work in a building of about 75 staff members. It took about 2 months for me to stop getting asked every day how my eyes were. When people ask, I do not hold back. As a matter of fact, there were 6 people in my building alone that were literally using me as their guinea pig because they themselves, or one of their children were thinking about having LASIK?all of those people are having major 2nd thoughts now.

Regrets,

Now you have taken charge of your own destiny. Even patients with really bad outcomes learn tricks to help themselves feel better and deal with their 'new LASIK vision'. There is a life out there for you... it may not be the same life you initially planned but it can be a good and satisfying life.

You'll be a savvy consumer from now on. And an example to others - you've already helped many other people.

Sadeyes,

I don't think I've ever told the story here about the email in my pocket the day of my LASIK surgery.

The day before I had LASIK I emailed my Mom and reminded her that my surgery was the next afternoon and asked her to pray for me. She emailed me back and said "Leave it in God's hands. Everything will be fine". I printed the email. The next day I wore a button-up shirt with front pockets. I folded the email and tucked it into the left shirt pocket over my heart. I believed that God would keep anything bad from happening.

I still have that piece of paper with that email to this day. I remember during the early days I would pull it out and read it again, and wonder "why".

I was not mad at God. I knew that because God gives us free will, bad people are free to hurt other people. I knew this in my heart. This is the only way His plan for mankind's salvation could work.

There are many chapters to my LASIK story that most of you do not know about. I filed a lawsuit against my surgeon that went on for years. The most terrible thing happened -- as if losing my vision wasn't bad enough. The most shocking, terrible thing happened. I had prayed and prayed for years... my family had prayed... my family's church family had prayed, my church family had prayed... my Bible study class members prayed, and prayed and prayed... and still the most terrible, shocking thing happened to me... I was in complete, utter disbelief. I was mad at God for the first time in my life. I felt like God had thrown me to the devil -- like God allowed the devil to take everything away from Job... his possessions, his family, his health, everything! I was mad at God.

It was about that time a Christian friend gave me a book by Anne Graham Lotz titled "WHY? Trusting God When You Don't Understand". It's a very small book. It only took me about 2 hours to read it. That 2 hours changed my life forever.

That book made me realize this...

IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!

I had prayed for so long for MY WILL to be done... I don't think I thought for a moment about *God's* will. Never once do I remember praying, "God, let your will be done in this situation. I trust you to take care of it, in your way, in your time".

That book made me realize that God truly does turn bad things into blessings. I think it took me 5 or 6 years to fully realize how much God has blessed me since the day I had LASIK. How silly, I was mad at God because I felt He abandoned me, when in reality, he was pouring out blessings on me. And He healed my heart of the hurt I felt by the betrayal of a so-called doctor.

Before I had LASIK, I was always trying to figure out what "spiritual gifts" I had been given... I finally know what my gifts are. I have been blessed with a way to reach out and help other people. God made me a fighter. God had planned all of this before I was even born.

My "theme song" is Hands, by Jewel. Here are the lyrics.

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all OK
And not to worry 'cause worry is wasteful
And useless in times like these
I won't be made useless
I won't be idle with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
For light does the darkness most fear
My hands are small, I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
Poverty stole your golden shoes (substitute "The Prince of Darkness Stole your eyesight")
It (substitute "He") didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
But I knew it wasn't ever after
We'll fight, not out of spite
For someone must stand up for what's right
'Cause where there's a man who has no voice
There ours shall go singing
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
I am never broken
In the end only kindness matters
In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
I will get down on my knees, and I will pray
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
My hands are small I know
But they're not yours, they are my own
But they're not yours, they are my own
And I am never broken
We are never broken
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's mind
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's heart
We are God's eyes
God's hands
God's eyes
We are God's hands
We are God's hands

You are wise, Grasshopper.

Broken Eyes:
Your response to my note made me sit here and cry tears at my desk for a long time.. i thank you so much for sharing that part of your story with me and also for addressing me personally. I often feel I write and write on this forum and hardly anyone ever responds to me personally at all; even when I address those personally. Just having felt heard specifically with what I wrote was heartwarming, much less to have a note of that significance sent my way.. I was so deeply touched.. THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!
With warmest sincerity,
Sadeyes

Hi Sadeyes!

I'm new so I've only begun to post replies to people. Give it some time, and pretty soon everyone will be sick of hearing from me!!!

I have read your posts, and a lot of what you have said has touched me. I can relate to your thoughts about the god stuff. I'm not religious, and I didn't really have faith in god to start, and this LASIK stuff is certainly not helping! Although, I can see how BE can look it all this stuff like maybe it happened for a reason. I think maybe I'm still a bit too weak to think of it that way. It already took a lot of courage for me to admit that I made this STUPID decision. I trusted a Dr. just because she's a Dr....dumb move! I trusted the FDA and our government...dumb move! I trusted my friends and acquaintances about their opinion on a SURGERY when they are not in any kind of field of medicine and have probably never read a medical journal in their life...dumb move! It's taken me a little bit to finally come to terms with the fact that I made this HUGE decision that I'll regret for the rest of my life. I can see how a lot of people tend to take the easy way out, and just say, "Yeah...my vision is good enough! Yay LASIK!" That is easier I suppose, however, I could never forgive myself if I went around promoting LASIK when I know the truth. So, hell yes...I feel like an ass! Hell yes...I made a HUGE STUPID decision! I guess I can accept that now. Other than the fact that I?ve learned a few life lessons, I can't really find anything positive that's come out of this. However, like Eye said, I'm trying to learn tricks to help myself feel better and deal with my new situation. All I know is that I'm at least happy that there are other people here to talk to about this, like you, Sadeyes. This is like my free therapy...so get used to my complaints!
I can't see myself sitting in an office, and actually feeling like the therapist understands me, and understands what this is like. His/her degree means nada! (See lesson #1 that I've learned...don't trust Doctors!)

Love,
Grasshopper

Regrets:

Thanks so, so much for writing and you keep writing, okay? I do understand exactly how you feel.. I appreciate those like Broken Eyes who have found some peace of sorts during this journey,, but I am still not quite where Broken Eyes is... maybe one day. It IS tough, for anyone who goes through this, especially when we all thought we'd be scott free seeing without glasses or contacts.. Thank you for making me feel like I've made some difference in writing.. I truly appreciate that.. I keep having those who care remind me, it's not my fault, but I, like you,,, have such a hard time with that,, cuz I let them touch me and it was a choice I made and how I would have been enjoying loving every minute of life and beauty to this day if I hadn't done it. It's not like an illness I just got, it was a choice. I was totally healthy before all this and now problems for life from this lasik distaster I got.
I will say that before this,, when things would happen, later I would find it was for the best and it happened for a reason.. I keep hoping this will be the same, but haven't quite seen that materialize for me yet, like it had with other things in my life. This is by far the worst thing that has happened to me, and I've been through "alot" in life.. At the time I had the surgery, I was on cloud nine in life and felt like my bad stuff was all behind, like I had now paid my dues and get to just enjoy life, now.
Guess I wrong,,,,,,, Anyway,,, keep writing and I'd love to hear your story sometime, if you have time to write that.. Warmest regards, Sadeyes

Regrets, I laughed when I read your post. You remind me so much of Scientist. (I am more like Sadeyes, and you are more like Scientist). Scientist caught on real fast! It took me a little longer to realize the full truth.

Sadeyes, I also had tears in my eyes when I read *your* post. Someday you'll see how God has turned this bad LASIK experience into a blessing. I hope you read my post about the "Trust" rock.

That's the cool thing about this bulletin board and interacting with other LASIK patients -- it makes you laugh and it makes you cry, and it gives you validation, and it educates you. How cool is that?

Regrets is a lot like me. My grandparents taught me that if I saw something going on that was wrong it was important to 'speak up' about it! Broken Eyes does the same, but in a softer way. Usually... not always...

Hi Broken Eyes: You wrote:

Sadeyes, I also had tears in my eyes when I read *your* post. Someday you'll see how God has turned this bad LASIK experience into a blessing. I hope you read my post about the "Trust" rock.


I had no idea "I" brought tears to YOUR eyes.. Wow, thanks for sharing that... I would have had no idea... where can I find your post about the TRUST ROCK....?

Sadeyes

p.s. I had such a horrible weekend for the most part..I'm having more ghosting around everything and just got so fed up with seeing them clearer with glasses, I just didn't bother wearing them.. Dizzier now, cuz I'm more than +1.00 diopter in left eye than right,, but I figure if I see blur with glasses, might as well see them without and not have them so vidid.. yesterday was really hard,,, and early this a.m. thinking, Idon't want to live like this....... again... those thoughts..
I see like such crap and the crooked floor, oh god,, it's aweful and dizzying too......Glasses dont' help that, but they do help the dizziness. oh, well, swap one thing for another ... I miss the beauty,,, I do , I do... and the pics of my family,, ughh.... since they are not here. Sometimes I just don't want to hear from people,,, well at least your're alive, right?????/ YEAH, RIGHT!!!!!!! If they only knew what I see,,, it's not even what I don't see, it's what I'm forced to see. distortion, crooked faces, blurred people,, I'm telling you it's a classic story right out of the old show... TWILIGHT ZONE!!!!
anyway,, thanks for listening...................................... SADEYES.. really sad............