Hi Patstin,
I'm a teacher too, so I can totally relate to you when you talk about switching from reading, to working on a computer, to trying to read a board, back and forth and having to adjust and focus your vision. I don't stop thinking about my vision ALL DAY LONG. I'm constantly testing it, thinking, "How well can I see the board now, compared to how well I saw it yesterday?" "Can I read that poster down the hall yet? How well can I see it from my door today?" Even when I'm driving I'm covering one eye to compare the vision between my left and right eye. After being out of school for 10 days for spring break, I swore to myself that things looked slightly better than they had before break, and I think there actually was a slight improvement. However, Improving from disgusting, awful, depressing vision to SLIGHTLY less disgusting, awful, depressing vision really doesn't make me feel much better. I'm really coming to terms with the fact that my vision is crap, and that's just the way it's going to be. A couple of weeks ago I was in the front row of a school concert, and in the dim lighting I could not focus and see the children clearly...in the FRONT row! It?s depressing to think about all of the things I have yet to do that will not be fully enjoyed. My Dr. stole these things from me. I'm only 26, have no kids yet, but I now know that when I do, I will not be able to see my kids when they perform in a concert, dance recital, sporting event, etc. When I buy my first house, will I truly be able to see what it looks like? Not the dim/dark parts of it anyways! I certainly wont know what my house looks like at night, or when it?s decorated with Christmas lights. Christmas and Halloween, my two favorite holidays, will never look or be the same. I love Christmas lights and I dread seeing what they are going to look like for me this winter. How crappy will my vision look when I walk my children around in the dark for trick-or-treating? I'm engaged...will I even be able to see in the dim lighting of my own wedding reception? I?ve wanted to see the play Wicked ever since it came out, and my fianc? was going to take me to ?see? it for my birthday this summer, I told him not to waste his money on the tickets because I wont be able to actually ?see? it. It all makes me very edgy and moody. I?ve got such a short fuse now, I snap at the smallest thing because I?m miserable inside. I?ve actually told him that I will probably be upset and depressed about this for the rest of my life, and he needs to decide if he can handle that. So many people have probably had pieces of their life taken from them because they simply didn't feel like bothering with glasses and contatcs, and this was supposed to be a safe procedure. DEPRESSING.
Anyways, sorry for going off on my own pity party here. But, you?re right, it?s good to vent. I really hope your vision continues to improve. It sounds like you had your surgery pretty recently, so hopefully you can still adjust and get a bit better.
Last edited by Regrets on Thu Jun 07, 2007 12:02 am, edited 1 time in total.
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